I’m still scratching my head over the Dublin Port Company advertising campaign.

The quality of the photo above isn’t great. It’s from Saturday’s Irish Times. You can probably make out the two vikings. The passage of 1200 years has obviously made them more civilised. Their conquering days are but a dim memory now. Shopping is the new blood sport for these two boys as they are laden down with bags after a day out on Grafton street.

“I love this time of year. The solstice, the sales, the scavenging. ‘Tis Mighthy!” says Bruce the Brave on the left.

“Mighty indeed! I just plundered me credit card!” says Dube Dubarry on the right.

All of this to tell us that Dublin port is here, near and delivers the goods. I don’t get it. What do they want from Joe public? A round of a applause and a pat on the head for managing the traffic in and out of the port.

Perhaps I should extend my Christmas card list to the staff to say thanks for… what again? Oh yeah, for being there. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be able to dress myself top to toe in Tommy Hilfiger gear this Christmas, so maybe I should give thanks. Maybe they ought to design a little label to go on stuff – “Proudly shipped via Dublin port – don’t forget about us”.

And their “1200 years of service” stuff.. That’s a bit of an exaggeration. According to their own website, they date back 300 years. Someone ought to contact liveline about this, or maybe the advertising standards. That might put an end to the most wasteful ad campaign in the history of Ireland, Dublin or even Dublin Port. It’s there and don’t you dare forget it.

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Update - Darragh has done a video of the sound coming from BT’s.

I’ve changed my mind now about them blasting out this music on the street.

I think I wasted 2 hours of my life doing this post up (I know, I know - it only looks like a 10 minute job).

Video link

[Above: How the next edition of the Dublin City Council Newsletter won’t look]

This just beggars belief. As reported in the Irish Times, Dublin City Council is investigating Brown Thomas on Grafton Street for noise pollution.

From the photo in the paper, they have a lovely Christmas display up in their window. To attract shoppers, there is Christmas music playing during the evening. Since Grafton Street is part of an Architectural Conservation Area, there are some rules about noise:

“No amplified announcements, music or other material shall be played from any premises to advertise goods or services… Any such sounds within the premises shall be controlled so as to be inaudible from adjoining premises or at two metres from the frontage”.

They play music every year and although I haven’t been up that way to see the display or hear the music, I know from previous years that the sound isn’t what you would call noise pollution. So what if it breaks the rules? It’s Christmas and a bit of Christmas spirit and flexibility is surely in order.

It’s only a couple of weeks ago that the Mayor of Dublin switched on the Christmas lights and called it “civic patriotism” to shop in Dublin. Whilst I agree with that sentiment entirely, it really rankles when officialdom start hounding a retailer for playing some Christmas music.

According to reports in today’s Mail on Sunday, BT have switched off the music in what seems to be a victory for the Grinches in “City Hall”.  If I were BT I’d turn this into a PR opportunity. Dress up as grinches and play music very very loudly right outside their door. The Christmas music shouldn’t be silenced without a bit of a fight!

Why go bald. Why, go bald. Why go bald? even. Dunno, but I laughed when I saw this. It’s the Universal Hair and Skin Clinics on Dame Lane in Dublin.

They have a slightly more demonic-looking-than-usual Jack Nicholson neon head luring the follicly challenged into their salon.

Photo by michaelz1 and adapted for use here under the terms of a CC license.

I’ve been passing by the construction of the Christmas decoration on O’Connell Street over the last week. I twittered that I wasn’t convinced about it. The above photograph shows it pretty much completed and I’m even less convinced now.

It was designed by a French company that created the lighting for the Eiffel Tower. 100,000 energy efficient bulbs will no doubt look good at night, but it just doesn’t spell Christmas like a traditional tree does.

Who are the people that actually make decisions like this? Do they have something against trees in general? Ever since the council bulldozed the historic trees that once grew along the street (in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep) to make way for the  “new, improved” thoroughfare, greenery has been sadly lacking.

The skinny latte, designer trees parachuted in to replace the old ones are poor excuses for trees. They need to be taken to tree bootcamp to beef up their bark and trunks a bit. They remind me of Victoria Beckham. Even dogs avoid pissing up against them, so confused are they by their distinct lack of tree-ness.

How and ever, the Christmas lights were switched on today, far earlier than normal. Dublin’s Lord Mayor stated that the lights on O’Connell Street will be a call of “civic patriotism” to shoppers to spend their money in Dublin.

So why didn’t they exhibit the same patriotism and stick an Irish tree in the middle of the street, instead of going all the way to France for this tawdry, characterless, ungreen, unchrismassy heap of shite.

A big fat FAIL in my opinion.

Photo by Infomatique and used under the terms of a CC License.

Saw loads of these on the street this morning. If I hadn’t known Wispas were back already, I would now!

Not sure I’d want to advertise on dirty pavements but it’s certainly different and for the right product and brands I’d say it’s a winner. I had heard about these being done in other countries using some sort of chalk which proved difficult to get off + advertisers fell foul of the authorities. Not so with these ads as it’s just the pavement sprayed clean through a stencil.

More at Enterprise Cleaning.

Paul Dervan highlights this sign in Dublin Airport. Rather than saying it in simple, plain English they’ve managed to turn it into something worthy of an insurance form.

Some more classics from around the world. At least they have an excuse since English isn’t their native language!

From a sign above a sink on a train in China

Photo of Basin by cv47al

Toledo, Spain

Ice photo by Bob.Fornal

Sign on a windy road in the Himalayas

Photo of Windy road by zen

Words from a sign in a Hotel in Prague.

Photo of thumb sucker by cayusa

From a sign in Japanes National Park.

Monkey photo by law_keven

From a hotel in Germany.

Photo by dogseat

All images adapted for use under a CC License.