So there I am, lying in bed one night reading a book when a sound invades the silence. “Hummmm, ormmmm, Hummmm, zzzzheeeeww, hmmmmm, ummmmm”. A throbbing, pulsing sound that seems to be coming from outside on the road. “Someone sitting in their car with the engine idling”, I think to myself and get back to reading the book.

An hour later the sound is still there. Now there is a small measure of annoyance creeping – “Who could possibly have the ignorance to leave a car idling in the middle of the night?”. I get up out of bed to investigate. Outside, it’s all quiet. The sound is still there. Not quite as annoying but there is no source for the sound on the road. Puzzled, I shuffle back under the covers and resume reading with the sound of a phantom engine buzzing in my ears. It’s not long before Mr. Sandman begins to come knocking on the eyelids, and I drift off to sleep.

Morning comes and I go about my business not really giving a lot of thought to the mystery sound. It’s only when night falls and the humming sound starts again that I’m beginning to wonder if I’m going crazy. Trying to ignore it in the hope that it goes away doesn’t work. There is only one solution – google it.

And that’s exactly what I do the next day. I typed it as I experienced it – “low humming sound in ears like diesel engine”. First page of results all pointed towards something called “The Hum”.

The Wikipedia entry described it as :

The Hum is a generic name for a series of phenomena involving a persistent and invasive low-frequency humming noise not audible to all people. Hums have been reported in various geographical locations. In some cases a source has been located. A Hum on the Big Island of Hawaii, typically related to volcanic action, is heard in locations dozens of miles apart. The local Hawaiians also say the Hum is most often heard by men. The Hum is most often described as sounding somewhat like a distant idling diesel engine. Typically the Hum is difficult to detect with microphones, and its source and nature are hard to localize.

Reading through the rest of the entry I concluded that maybe it was tinnitus but that wouldn’t explain why it suddenly started a couple of nights before. I much prefered the idea that it was some sort of mysterious force that only “special” people could hear.

Maybe it was a message from extra terrestrials who wanted to come in peace but needed an invitation. Or could it be a warning sign of some impending disaster brewing deep inside the earth’s core. If I could decode the message the world would be saved.

I just couldn’t accept tinnitus as an explanation. That would mean this sound would forever impinge upon my ability to experience absolute peace and silence. What could I do though? The body has a habit of just doing what it wants despite what our head might tell it.

And so for the next week or more the game began. Bedtime would come and I’d watch a bit of TV or listen to the radio with extra attention. Listening for any sign of the Hum. Lights out time. Oh, there it is. “Hummmmm, hummmmmm”. Arrgh, I can’t put up with this – it’s driving me mad. And then, one night – it just stopped. Silence again. It was wonderful and I slept like a baby.

That was about a year ago and there the story would end except shortly after I returned from my trip to New York at the end of October, the Hum started again. It didn’t bother me as much this time because I knew what it was and I figured it will do it’s week long visit and then leave me be. And that’s exactly what happened. The Monday night of my first day back to work, the hum had gone. Just another short term visit from this weird phenomenon. Nothing more than a totally random,bizarre and unexplained occurrence.

Maybe not though.. The old grey matter doesn’t like mysteries and needs to solve puzzles. That’s when a very obvious fact struck me. Last time I had the hum it happened while I was on holiday, just like this time. It led me to conclude that something in my system was adjusting to the new daily routine of peace and quiet.

You see I work in a noisy environment – a shopping centre. Not in the confines of a shop, but out in the open of the general mall. I get the noise from the muzak on the centre PA system, noise from music in other shops, general chatter. Over a period of time, the brain / aural system expects to hear this sound for 8 or 9 hours a day. If it suddenly stops (like on holiday), something kicks in to compensate. That something is the hum. At least, that is now my theory. Other people might find that when they take a holiday they come down with a cold or some other physical symptom. It’s the body reacting to a more relaxed pace.

I could be totally wrong about the hum though. I took time off for holiday at about the same time this year as last year. Perhaps there is some piece of equipment switched on locally for a particular task once a year and that’s what I’m hearing. Maybe the aliens are trying to make contact during one brief time of the year when all the planets are in a certain alignment.

Nah, that’s just silly.. I feel the hand of William Ockham on my shoulder whispering “Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem”. Ain’t that the truth and no ifs, ands, buts or hums about it.