Instagram blog post – what the CEO might have said

Instagram bought by Facebook. CEO wrote on their blog about the whole thing. His words are in strikeout – alternative, imaginary words in italics…

When Mike and I started Instagram nearly two years ago, we set out to change and improve the way the world communicates and shares. We’ve had an amazing time watching Instagram grow into a vibrant community of people from all around the globe. Today, we couldn’t be happier to announce that Instagram has agreed to be acquired by Facebook.

When Mike and I started Instagram nearly two years ago, we had our eye on being acquired. All this bullshit talk about changing the way the world communicates and shares just sounds better in interviews. No one would use our product if they thought we just wanted to make shedloads of moolah.


Every day that passes, we see more experiences being shared through Instagram in ways that we never thought possible. It’s because of our dedicated and talented team that we’ve gotten this far, and with the support and cross-pollination of ideas and talent at a place like Facebook, we hope to create an even more exciting future for Instagram and Facebook alike.

Hipsters all over the world spend hours taking photos of the most mundane random shit at odd angles and like to pretend they are the second coming of Ansel Adams. Our programmers work very hard to cater for this deluded demographic. We look forward to the day when everyone on the planet has run a filter on a photograph of a salt cellar, printed it, framed it and given it to their mother as a birthday gift and then seeing the look of sheer disappointment in her eyes as she realises she has failed as a parent.


It’s important to be clear that Instagram is not going away. We’ll be working with Facebook to evolve Instagram and build the network. We’ll continue to add new features to the product and find new ways to create a better mobile photos experience.

Over the coming months we will become Mark Zuckerberg’s bitches as we work closely with him to find a way to fuck the product up and make it shit.

The Instagram app will still be the same one you know and love. You’ll still have all the same people you follow and that follow you.You’ll still be able to share to other social networks. And you’ll still have all the other features that make the app so fun and unique.
We’re psyched to be joining Facebook and are excited to build a better Instagram for everyone.

You can continue using Instagram the same way you always did. We’re still trying to understand why anyone would really want to turn a photograph into not-quite-a-photograph, but if it ain’t broke, we’re sure to break it with the help of Facebook going forward.


CEO, Instagram

Yours in disbelief that we got a BILLION…


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