11 awesome things you can do about the France Ireland result

Yes, the result of the match was bad but you don’t have to sit there in silence. There’s lots of positive things you can do, so why don’t you?

1. Write to your TD expressing your outrage. Request a special Dail sitting to discuss this matter of national importance. Just say you’ll forgive them for the mess they’ve made of the country if political pressure can be brought to bear and change the result.

2. If your town is twinned with one in France, write to the local chamber of commerce and express your complete and utter disgust at associating in any way with that country.

3. Write to your local restaurant and demand that they remove from their menus the following : French fries, French wine or anything made in or touched by a French hand. If they hire French waiters or chefs, ask that they either receive a good kick up the arse or are fired.

4. If you have a blog – RANT. If your blog has LE in the title – you need to do something about that – and quickly.

5. Send a postcard to some random person in France and just express yourself. Remind them that Ireland won the Eurovision 7 times. Invoke the spirit of the French revolution, listen to their conscience and ask that they contact their Football authority to have the match voided.

6. Cut off your hand and send it to the French embassy. If you are averse to pain and really, really need your hand, cut off a frogs leg and send it instead.

7. If you are religious, say a prayer to St. Jude – patron saint of lost causes.

8. Punch anyone with a beret. Doesn’t matter if they are French or not. Beret wearers are ridiculous. Wearing onions around the neck is ridiculous too, but that practice seems to be on the wane.

9. Name your first born child “Thierryhenryisacunt”.

10. Call Joe Duffy and tell him to grow his beard back.

11. Hack the Wikipedia cheating entry. (oh, it’s already been done)