Win Grandad’s Head Rambles Book

Well Joe, it’s like this, there are too many incompetent drivers on our roads. Where did these lunatics learn how to drive? Just to make my point a bit clearer, I was in a taxi to work the other day. Stopped at a roundabout we were, just chatting away about the cold.

That’s another thing. All these cars are ruining the environment. Global warming my big toe. I’ll come back to that later by the way.

Where was I Joe? Oh yeah. At the roundabout. Now the traffic was a bit on the heavy side, so the taxi driver, like every other traffic driver was waiting for a gap big enough to get a supertanker through, all the while watching the meter clocking up.

Now Joe, he had plenty of chances to move into traffic, but still he waited. Two euro it cost me waiting at that roundabout, if we still had the ould Punt, it wouldn’t have cost me anywhere as much and we wouldn’t be in this damn recession. I tell ya Joe, that EU ruined everything we had going for this country. Anyways, there we were waiting for a gap in traffic, when it happened.

BANG.

Ah, Joe it was terrible. The driver behind us hit us an unmerciful whack. Joe, I’ll never forget it. I was in a state of shock, what with the two euro extra on the clock and all. But sure, the taxi driver had to get out and check the damage. Luckily for him there was no damage, but the shock of it Joe. It was terrible.

With a all the checking and talking to the other driver, there was another 60 cent on the meter, and we still hadn’t moved from the roundabout. Apart from the couple of inches we moved after the bang.

After the taxi driver got back in he told me the most ridiculous story. Yer man behind us, English he was by the way Joe, what do you think his excuse was? You won’t believe it Joe. No you won’t. I’ll tell you Joe. He wasn’t paying attention Joe. He ran into the back of us because he wasn’t paying attention.

What do you think of that Joe? You’re right Joe, it’s terrible. Now this lad was over from England, driving on our roads and not paying attention. Do you think if we hadn’t joined the EU that he’d be over here running into the back of taxi’s? Not a bit of it Joe.

But in fairness to the taxi driver, that roundabout cost me an extra two euro sixty cent, but he left me off a euro on the fare. You can’t beat the generosity of the Irish lads. They’ll never see you wrong.

Well Joe that’s my story and I’m sure your listeners will agree that it’s pure shocking.

I’d enter, but I’m still waiting on my copy to be delivered by those bastards at Amazon.

My estimated dispatch date is the 30th

Hello A-Joe

I have a gripe about the all those who are grumpy about the fact that Rick O Shea has been told to shut his pipe and just play the bloody music. I have news for you Rick. NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOUR INANE NONSENSE! I mean come on, the guy has a voice like a hyena being dragged backwards through a ditch. And as for his name, may has well have called himself Pat Mustard, or Charlie Bird, it’s ridiculous. Anyway we all know his real name is Seamus O Toole.

Tune into Irelands Biggest Pukebox every Sunday For a REAL radio show with my dulcet tones and the best sweet sweet music to wake up with a hangover beside a skanger to.

John Clarke

Head Of Musaaak

Comminatcha

2fm

Well… it’s Joe Duffy that’s annoying me, he’s a bit of a prick
*hangs up*

I’m sure Manuel is devastated at that twist of fate?
Now if he mails me his address??????

Cheers

Will have it sent to my dad. He may find a lot of things in common with Grandad!

boooooooo best of three

AJ, thanks for the book. It’s a great read, and highly recommended for all those grumpy souls out there.

Sorry it took so long to say “thanks”, I’ve no reasonable excuse.

Once again, thanks!

Paul