The photograph used in this week’s header image is really wonderful. It was taken in May this year by Zadok the Priest in St. Stephen’s Green in Dublin. It looks so idyllic and dreamlike. It’s so well captured it makes me want to go sit under a tree somewhere by a lake for the afternoon – I can feel Glendalough calling me!

Photo owned by Zadok the Priest and used under the terms of a CC license.

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Saw this in the paper today

It’s Denis O’Brien, the man who never made good on his Late Late Show interview statement saying he would pay CGT on his €250 million payout on the sale of Esat. That’s all water under the bridge now and there’s no denying he knows how to make the green stuff.

In the Forbes article, O’Brien is quoted as saying the charge by Gavin O’Reilly that he has some sort of vendetta against Indepedent News Media’s coverage of him is “a load of shite”.

Forbes very helpfully insert (Irish Slang) after this quote, for the benefit of an American audience. Could the readers of Forbes not have deduced it was a variant of shit and not a reference to any of the following (per wikipedia).

A Shi’ite, a person who practices the Shia Islam faith
The shite, the principal character in a Japanese Noh play
Shite, the person who performs the technique in aikido

Is shite uniquely Irish though?

Apologies for two videos in a row – but this is just classic.

I’m wearing out the soundtrack to Sweeney Todd on my iPhone at the moment. Such a brilliant score. Only downside is that one of the tracks, “Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir” is stuck in my head most of the day. Youtube at the end of the post if you want to be similarly infected.

The song is all about a miracle cure for baldness. Following this song in the film of the stage musical, a shaving contest takes place between Todd and Pirelli (the fraudulent Italian barber). Todd wins the contest easily. I watched Sweeney Todd on DVD and did a review here. Watching the shaving contest made me cringe.

See, I hate shaving. I find it a deeply unpleasant experience. My neck is so sensitive (oh, poor me) that the mere sight of someone else being shaved, provokes a sympathetic reaction. I can feel the beginnings of the post shave soreness. No such reaction to all the necks being slit though – how odd. But that has now changed… I finally discovered a product that doesn’t leave my neck a bloody mess.

It’s called “Ultrashave” and it’s available at 4men.ie. I read about it and thought it sounded too good to be true. I tried it for the first time about 3 weeks ago and I can honestly say that the discomfort I have found with shaving in the past has gone. This is the first time I’ve not experience soreness after shaving. I would advise using a foam with it the first time though. Cost is €18.95 - which is expensive – but for anyone with really sensitive skin, it’s the only way to go. Ladies can use it too, for whatever bits they need to shave.

For me it is like Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir if he produced an elixir for shaving instead of a cure for baldness and it wasn’t made of piss and ink. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please… Play this at your own risk.

Read in the Daily Mail this morning that Grainne Seoige is being screen tested for ‘The Panel’.

Have Happy Endings/RTE lost their marbles? Apart from appearing humourless as a panelist on the show, her face annoys me and they WILL lose a viewer if this comes to fruition. Also, doesn’t everyone know that females just don’t make good comedians?

Why don’t they produce a list of candidates and let the public vote?

This has thrown me for the day I tell ya. Thrown me it has…

to show your SysAdmin some love.

For is it the 9th Annual System Administrator Appreciation Day. Sys Admin’s are people too, show them some love. Send them a bar of chocolate, or a camomile tea to help ease their furrowed brow. They have a lot to contend with.

In what seems like a lifetime ago, I spent about 9 months on the telephones of a large computer company. It wasn’t sys admin, but it was a flavour of it. It’s a stressful occupation as people only ever ring with problems. Their problem is the most important thing in their lives at that time and “goddamit, don’t you know how much money I spent with your company…” - lah dee dah dee dah. I lasted about 9 months until I got promoted/taken off the phones as I was obviously showing signs of mental breakdown.

My personal coping strategy was to “think happy thoughts” and read inspirational quotes and books between calls. Everyone had their own special way of keeping sane. One guy used to occasionally answer calls with “f*ck you for calling XYZ company.” - but he said it quickly so it sounded like “thank you for calling…”. Another guy simply turned down the volume when a customer started ranting and played solitaire. People wanting to speak with a manager would often be transferred to another member of the team. Ah the fun and games.

More tech support funnies at Techtales. If you have one of your one - feel free to leave a comment….

No “Friday eyedrops” this week, just didn’t get round to doing last night.

A few weeks ago, Rosie posted about getting some free time back after her studies which gave her the opportunity to do some leisurely reading. One of the books she read was The London Eye Mystery. Being a generous and thoughtful sort, she offered to send the book anonymously to anyone with a 9 to 12 year old child that would appreciate the book. I threw my niece’s hat into the ring and Rosie sent the book out to her anonymously.

I had to ring my sister to double check her address. Unfortunately, when the book came she let slip that I was getting it sent out, so the mystery thing was ruined. Still, Karina was thrilled to get a book through the post. She was here this evening and I asked her if she’d do a review some time for the blog. “No hurry”, says I, “You’ll probably need a bit of time to think about it”. Not so with Karina, she wanted to do it there and then and she requisitioned the notebook and began typing away.

So here it is, Karina’s review of the book (which she is sending on to a friend after I reminded her), with thanks again to Rosie for sending it out.

“The London Eye Mystery is about three children named Ted, Salim and Kat. Salim is visiting Kat and Ted, his cousins, as he and his mother will shortly be moving to New York. Ted is unlike any other chlild. He is not disabled but his brain works in a very straightforword way. He does not understand sarcastic phrases or sayings. He is fascinated by the weather and wishes to be a meteorologist when he is older. He never lies but soon will take a walk on the wild side.

When Salim arrives the next day, Ted and Kat’s mother Faith and Salim’s mother Gloria think it’s a good idea to go and do an activity. When Ted mentions the idea of the London Eye everyone agrees that it is a great suggestion. Ted, Kat and Salim all queue for the tickets while Gloria and Faith stop in a nearby coffee shop. The line is extremely long and they’re at the back.

A mysterious man walks up and offers them a free ticket for the next ride as he is afraid of heights. Since Kat and Ted both have been on the Eye before, they offer the ticket to Salim who has never even been in London before. Salim goes up at exactly 11:32 and his pod arrives at exactly 12:32. Everyone gets off but where is Salim? Join Ted and Kat in their adventure to find their cousin Salim, no matter what the cost!

I enjoyed this book greatly and is an exellent read! Out of five stars I would give a 3 and a half!

Written by : Karina Blood, Age 11”

I love blogs that are very focused in their content. Like this one I discovered today called “Photo Clichés”. The site is all about:

“Collecting pictures of people being uniquely hilarious, just like all the other people who took the same photo”

There’s a whole section on the site dedicated to photographs of Jaws in Universal Studios. This particular photograph made me laugh. I think it’s because I know I would probably do the same thing if I had a child in my arms and were presented with the same photo opportunity.

Titanic is responsible for many things, all of them bad. Photo Cliché focuses in on one of the bad things the film has given us. The outstretched arm pose imitating the scene from the film where that unforgettable “king of the world” line was uttered.

I did a quick search through Flickr for famous Irish locations to see what poses were on offer. I was at least expecting a few photographs of Molly Malone’s ample breasts being fondled, but nairy a one that I saw.

Only one photo with a couple posing with Padraic O’Conaire in Eyre Square.

A handful of heads staring up at the Spire.

This one at St. James’s Gate (king of the world again).

Taking a peek over the ledge at the Cliffs of Moher.

Sitting on Fungi the Dolphin.

Any more you can find?

You might be wondering about the photograph in the header above. It’s there to illustrate another cliched pose. It’s one that I just don’t get and I see it constantly in the local newspaper. It’s the pout and the whole finger on the chin thing. My niece (who modeled the pose for the photoshopping of the image above), reliably informs me that this pose is out of fashion now. The new pose is the pout along with two fingers held horizontal at chest level. This is called the “D4 pose” – that’s what it’s called among the kids of Wickla – don’t know about elsewhere.

If I was a photographer for a local rag, I’d outlaw all this particular pose and replace it with compulsory nose picking. That way, I could build a reputation for being the nose picking photographer. I’m sure there’s a niche for it somewhere.

While I’m on the subject of the nasal passage…Is there anything more gross than someone performing a nasal evacuation in the street? A guy standing casually with his elbow on a bin outside the GPO performed one this morning. The image and sound stuck in my mind all morning. I’m not saying I’ve never nasally evacuated myself, but there is a time and a place – and outside the GPO on a nice sunny morning just isn’t one of them.

Header photo owned by Prodigal Sista and adapted under a CC License. Hand belongs to my niece. It may be out of proportion to the photograph above