I can feel their pain

A classic from today’s Herald AM. So good it had to be shared.

The top 10 stupid/embarrassing ways to hurt yourself, as supplied by the listeners to FM104.

1. Burnt testicles on boiler while getting towels from hotpress
2. Had Imaac fight with friend and woke up burnt and bald
3. Trimmed pubic hair but caught skin instead (female)
4. Pulled mooner out of bedroom window and fell out
5. Caught tongue on a dog kennel by a nail
6. Caught privates on a clothes line and was left hanging
7. Jumped off slide because I was too frightened to slide down
8. Missed football and kicked side of house
9. Caught bra in barbed wire fence and broke arm
10. Broke teeth while bouncing golf ball

I will add 3 of my own.

Cut tongue badly licking the top of a yoghurt pot. A bit of the lid was left on the edge and it was deadly sharp.

Took a short cut to work one morning and walked into a low hanging branch of a tree. I had a nice shiner for a week or two.

Went for a hike on a really hot, sunny day in shorts without sunscreen and legs were so badly burnt I had to take a week off work – I couldn’t walk.

Feel free to add your own in the comments below!