There’s a charity ball going on in Donegal tonight and it’s for 19 year old Alan Doherty.  Guest of honour is Bertie Ahern. Alan suffers from a rare disorder called otocephaly and was born without a chin and lower jaw. When he was born, his parents were told that his chances for survival were slim. He had to breathe through a tube in his throat.

He did survive and tonights ball is the latest in a series of fundraising events that have taken place in Donegal raising funds to pay for Alan’s medical treatment.

Get this. In 11 months, the people of Donegal raised over €600,000 towards medical expenses and they are still going strong.

Alan himself has already gone through several operations since October last year and has faced a number of setbacks but he still maintains his optimism and good spirits.

Raising that amount of money for a local cause is absolutely phenomenal, so hats off to team Alan. They are truly deserving of an entry on Ireland’s Real Rich List.

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A valuable lesson for all you consumers out there from behind the steep, dark and dirty coalface of retail.

Had a lady here last week that placed a fairly big order. I gave her a decent discount. It always pays to offer a discount in the long run as the discount given will be outweighed by the number of subsequent referrals received. Either give a discount or offer something as a bonus for a large order, that’s my general policy – but it does depend on the approach of whoever is looking for a better price.

On collecting her order she asked my name, which I gave her. She thanked me kindly and went on her way. She was happy, I was happy – all was good with the world.

Yesterday, she is back again looking for more of the same item and proceeded to look for further discount on the already good price given last week. I really didn’t want to go any lower and was set to stick to my guns.

To cut a long story short, this little old lady (for she was little, and old and said “love” a lot) managed to get the price down further. Possible Apprentice material I must say.

It was only after she went on her very merry way that I thought about how she had managed to get the price down further. And then it struck me. Her other favourite word (apart from “love”), was my name. She repeated it I don’t know how many times in her pleading for a lower price – and she did plead and implore me.

Oldest trick in the book, and I’d fallen for it. Proof that it does pay to use a persons name in any negotiating or haggling.

So be off out now, all steely eyed, determined, and Apprentice like as you shop this weekend and haggle for Ireland. Don’t forget to use names as your secret weapon..

Happy Friday and all that.

Someone was looking for you earlier, they left a number. It’s (01) 2083111 and it’s urgent.

Ask for Mister Teevee, first name Tommy.

Tell them Rick said to call!

Not a bad ‘oul week altogether. Hope yours went well. Here’s a few Friday bits ‘n bobs for you.

Maryrose Lyons of Brightspark Consulting has noticed a change in us over the course of the last week. I know that when I’m firing on all cylinders and feeling 100% positive, I tend to notice more good things. On the flip side, if I wake after a fitful sleep and don’t have breakfast, anything and everything will annoy the hell out of me and everything is doom and gloom. Maybe there is a smidgen of truth behind the law of attraction.

If this doesn’t make you grin from ear to ear and have you clicking along I fear for you, I really do. He’s 10 and auditioned on last weeks Britain’s Got Talent. Seeing as You’re a Star is now cancelled, RTE should look at getting this going asap. There’s got to be loads of little Charlie Green’s all over Ireland just itching to have their chance in the limelight. I’m a sucker for talent shows like this, I just love them all!

Little Charlie sang about the summer wind, and summer was on my mind one evening on the way home when I noticed all the bird nests high in the trees. It is supposed to be a sign that we are in for a good summer, or at least that’s what I always remember being told. Does this piece of folklore ring a bell with anyone else? Anyway, I hope those birdies instincts are on the money this year.

Some untruths about Derek Davis that he wants you to be aware of:

• He is not a fan of Scunthorpe United – in fact, he doesn’t even know exactly where Scunthorpe is. ehh, don’t think any of us do actually Derek.
• He has never owned racing pigeons and in fact, the closest he ever came to one is with a knife and fork. What a savage he is.
• He has hardly ever been in Portmarnock and has bever been in an argument with a retailer over a van full of Fruit of the Loom tracksuits. In fact, the closest he has come to a tracksuit is trying to find one to fit… Ha ha – he’s got a thick skin too and didn’t mind when someone told him he was too fat for TV.

Derek himself set the record straight for the nation in yesterday’s Irish Daily Mail. The falsehoods about Derek are all on Wikipedia and the most important thing I took away from his article is that :

“It all goes to show: don’t believe anything you get off the net”

Thanks Derek, I’ll try to remember that in future. Personally, I’m glad these urban myths about Derek have finally been exposed for what they are. He’ll be missed from our screens won’t he?

Slow Dance… This was in the book I’m reading at the moment (the 4 hour work week) and I thought it was lovely, so here it is.

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to rain slapping the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun fading into the night?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly,
when you ask “How are you?”, do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores running through your head?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.

Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a friendship die,
’cause you never had time to call and say hi?

You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
it’s like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life isn’t a race, so take it slower,
hear the music before your song is over.

Loving this website at the moment. It’s called Young Me, Now Me – I guess it could be called a photo meme. I like the idea so much so that I dug out this photo of me when I was younger to do my own young me, now me. I am on the lookout for a suitably retro looking white jumper. I’ll have to buy some shorts too! Keep an eye out for the now me on that site. I might even link to it here.

That’s a full lid for this weeks eyedrops. High five me? Specially for Green Ink

Boy salute photo by Vox Efx and used under a creative commons license.

Nest photo by booleansplit and used under a creative commons license.

le craic toddler photo by Unknown and used under my own license.

Doggy bought and paid for image.

Images found using Jazz Biscuit’s CCIS tool (apart from the le craic toddler photo and high five doggy)

Ahh, the little baby ephelant, look at him and his little trunk and little floppy ears. I want one.

After the competition which saw 1,000 entries, he is now called Budi. I presume it’s pronounced Boo-dee, rather than Buddy because everyone in Dublin knows if a guy calls you buddy, bud or pal and precedes it with the words “are you alright there..”, and those words are spoken in a less than friendly tone, you need to WALK SLOWLY AWAY and then RUN for your life.

Thanks to Jazz Biscuit for the heads up.

I’m still holding out hope that my entry to name the baby elephant at Dublin Zoo was successful. They are announcing the winner on Friday, but I’ve not heard anything back from them. I suggested Rohan.

David Maybury laments that he never wins anything and points out a competition being run by Children’s Books Ireland. My history of winning anything is limited to €4 wins on scratch cards, a game of Trivial Pursuit on Poporama when I was 10 or 11 I think and naming the school goldfish. I won with Jonah - clever boy that I am .  Back to the competition though.

The Snail and the Whale is the story of

“One tiny snail who longs to see the world and hitches a lift on the tail of a whale. Together they go on an amazing journey, past icebergs, and volcanoes, sharks and penguins, and the little snail feels so small in the vastness of the world. But when disaster strikes and the whale is beached in a bay, it’s the tiny snail who saves the day.”

The Helix are hosting the stage production of the Snail and the Whale during May and the competiton is for family tickets to a showing on Tuesday 6th May.

Closing date for the competition is Tuesday 29th April and a simple email is all you need to do to enter, so head on over and take a shot at ending your losing streak!

Where is Spencer Tunick going to do his naked photography in Ireland? Follow the link and read all about what’s happening in June.

Since the shoots are closed off to the public, a lot of careful planning will have to go into where it takes place.

It says Dublin Docklands for the Dublin event which should make for stunning shots. Hopefully the weather is good as the docklands wouldn’t be very pleasant on a miserable rainy day. The location will be sent out 2 weeks before the event. I don’t know Cork well enough to even guess where might make a good location.

His work really is amazing and hopefully there are enough brave Irish who will register and turn up at the event. Will I be doing it? I don’t think so, far too self conscious for anything like that but a lot of people who have taken part claim it is a very liberating experience so it’s something I should consider a bit more rather than dismiss immediately.

It’s time for the interview from hell…

In the beginning there were 16 tycoons of tomorrow vying for a job with the most belligerent boss in Britain. This was the episode where Sir Alan “surprises” the candidates by turning up at the house really early in the morning with his grumpy head to give the lazy apprentices their latest task. Miss Piggy answered the door in her bathrobe and gushed “Ooh, Sir Alan, I’d have slipped into something more comfortable if I’d known you were coming” – or words to that effect.

The reception tonight on my TV was diabolical…. and the reception kept fading in and out along with the sound. I might as well have been watching it from mars. Proof…

So I didn’t really catch a whole ton of it in glorious colour and stereo.

From what I saw, it seemed like both teams were actually working as teams in a far more productive way led by Lucinda for team Alpha and Claire for Renaissance. Task this week was making ice cream and selling it to the trade in London.

Both leaders managed to prove themselves in different ways this week.

Claire managed to control her dominating nature after her dressing down by Sir Alan last week and was determined to win the task.

Biggest surprise was kooky Lucinda who is someone I could totally work for. No longer the wet blanket, she managed her team extremely well. She is the one I would hire from the all of the candidates. A total professional and genuine person. She gets my vote anyway.

Irish hope Jennifer Maguire got plenty of screen time this week and sorry to say, but I really can’t see her going on to win this competition. It seems like she’s not too popular among the other candidates and Sir Alan’s right hand man, Nick, picked up on the fact that she has a cold presence which the others pick up on. Pretty boy Alex says she is a wanabee Ice Queen and I would tend to agree based on her showing this week.

She tried, unsuccessfully, to take the shine off Lucinda’s excellence in the project manager role and was thoroughly unpleasant I thought. Her nasal intonations don’t help her cause either. She may be the best salesperson in Europe, but Sir Alan’s apprentice she will not be.

Team Renaissance led by Claire, won the task and got a helicopter ride for their reward. Lucinda took the ice queen Lindi Mngaza back into the boardroom for the showdown.

Jennifer was extremely lucky to escape the chopping block and it was Lindi who got fired in the end. Out of the three, she was the only choice to go as she’s not really made much of an impact and didn’t defend herself very well.

Paul Groves puts my effort to shame every week with his witty reviews and I recommend you check out his take on the episode.

I should probably stick to Photoshop so here’s your Apprentice pinup of the week in all her icy glory. Enjoy….