Apprentice Watch – Week 3 – The one with the L word


6.30am – Somewhere in London a phone rings. A tousle haired woman with a large chin answers. The secretary of a multi-millionaire is on the phone and tells the large chinned woman that she and her housemates have 30 minutes before cars arrive to whisk them to the Tate Modern. The reason for going to the Tate Modern appears to have nothing to do with the task these 14 top business people are about to take on.

Yes, it’s week 3 of The Apprentice and this weeks task was a cracker. Plan a theme night for a pub – a task that seemed like a lot of fun.

Project managers for this were appointed by Sir Sugar this time around. I was waiting for Sir Alan to pick our girl Jennifer Maguire for this task, but alas no, it was not to be. He went for the rather nondescript Sara Dhada for the girls team and Ian Stringer for the boys.

Sara is a “true example of pure class and elegance.” She doesn’t “try to be glamourous. I’m just naturally like that” – ok Sara … keep talking to the mirror on the wall there love.

Ian, ha what a guy. He is bullshit bingo in a Johnathan Rhys Myers package (I’m playing lookee likees again). 26 years old, a Software Sales Manager who says “There are two kinds of people in the world. Winners and… I don’t know how to spell the other word. I can’t say it…” – 8 GCSE’s and can’t spell loser? Loser.

Have to hand it to the girls team this week. From the off, they were more together than the shambles that was last week. Picking Bollywood as their theme night was a good choice as well. Everyone loves a curry – it’s almost like a national dish in England + it’s easy to make (in theory).

There was only a minor skirmish involving Claire, who thought Indian food was “too niche”. She harped on about this throughout the task, but what would someone with a BSc in Equine Science working as a Senior Retail Buyer know about curry anyway?

BIGGEST turnaround was Jenny Celerier who must have been talked to by the producers for her bullying last week. She was positively radiating smiles and bonhomie throughout. Went a bit far shaking hands with customers though – over compensating maybe. Overall, she has definitely changed her tune. Maybe not the wicked witch after all? Time will tell.

Selling tickets for the Bollywood night was a super idea and Jennifer got a bit more of the limelight this week as she was involved in selling the tickets. I’d say she can sell alright, she seems to have a very nice way about her. Hope she proves her mettle when she gets appointed as Project Manager.

As for the boys. Oh dear, it was seriously bad. Their choice of Italian theme was safe, but boring.

Scene of the show was that of Ian, Kevin and Simon trying to work out how many tomatoes to buy at the market. Kevin (a Bank Manager) performed some calculations delivered in his best Bristol accent. It was comedy gold. Worzel Gummidge could have done better. He just stood there rattling off random numbers – “if oo have fifteen people wanting tamater soup, you need 20, 30, 40 tamaters”.. – You get the picture. I nearly choked laughing. In the end, they bought nothing wholesale and opted to buy everything in a supermarket. That was their downfall.

They managed to sell a decent amount of food at the end of the night but it wasn’t enough to offset their reckless spending in the supermarket earlier.

Result – Girls earned £795 with an outlay of £190. Profit £604. Boys earned £844.97, spent £543 (ha) – profit £301.

Project manager Ian’s fate was probably sealed when there was complete silence when Sir Alan asked if they thought he was a good team manager. Don’t think I’ve ever seen this happen before.

Ian brought Kevin and Simon back into the boardroom, where he didn’t defend himself very well against the other two.

In the end the right decision was made with Ian hearing those famous words. A shambolic week for the boys and very poor leadership.


Once again, the search continues….


  1. Good stuff 😉

    I thought the midget Bollywood stripper the girls hired was a mistake, but they still won.

    Ian was worse than useless. I’d say he made a succession of schoolboy errors, but that would be insulting to schoolboys everywhere.
    Ex-squaddie Simon “Chopper” Smith is now a close second behind Raef’s hair as far as I’m concerned.

  2. Oh my god I really love what our Irish candidate Jenny Maguire wears!

    I would love to know where she shop? we saw her in Ron Blacks in Dublin on Saturday with a load of her friends and she looked amazing, they all looked HOT taking photos

    Good Luck Jennifer and let us know where you love to shop, Ireland needs a new style icon

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