The secretive world of the Irish male revealed

It’s very rare that I pick up a Metro in the morning, but I just knew there was a reason I got one today. It was some sort of cosmic event because there on page 13 is a small little article headlined

Irish males are “secret groomers”

Yes, we care about how we look but because Irish women would rip the piss out of us if we let on we did, we have to keep it secret. Those discrete brown packages your significant other gets delivered every now and then are (more than likely), very innocent male grooming products delivered from the likes of 4men.ie.

The survey says that Irish men are the most “secretive groomers” in Europe, but conceal their routines for fear of seeming vain (or getting their manliness questioned by the laydees).

The cosmicness of this article was what comes next; although you might already have guessed by looking at the graphic above.

I’d love to know how this question was phrased in the survey but it seems that Irish men are most concerned about removing nasal hair out of the 12 European nations studied. You could have knocked me over with a Luas because it was only last Saturday Nasal hair was on my mind, and in my nose, obviously.

You see, I had to seek out a tweezers to pull the hair from my nose as I could stick the itchiness no longer. I was fed up with people thinking I was picking my nose all the time. So the worst of the hairs had to go. It was literally eye watering I can tell you, but the relief afterwards was bliss.

Before going on this hair pulling excersise, I did do a search to find out about Nasal Hair (God bless wikipedia) and I think I will live with the tweezering I did. Delicate little babies survive without big wads of hair, so I reckon I will too.

Oh, apologies if this has grossed you out – solly